Newsflash for birders!
The
Purple-toed Stogie Sucker has been sighted on the Teaching Drum's newly
naturalized lawn! Now here's one to check off of your
life list - the Stogie Sucker is so rare that she's not even on the
Endangered Species
List. This is because of her very particular diet, which nobody
has been able to figure out. That is, nobody until Tamarack - a
card-carrying Master
Outdoor Sleuth!
It was formerly thought that the
Stogie Sucker belonged to the genus LBB (Little
Brown Bird); however, Tamarack discovered that she is actually a
VBE (Veggie Burger
Eater). "She is a creature of the deep forest," Tamarack
noted, "hanging
around isolated campsites waiting to scavenge scraps of soy
burger and similar
vegetarian fare."
"Unfortunately,"
Tamarack droned on, "the Stogie Sucker's very particular
diet means that her
meals are few and far between, which makes it near-impossible
for her to feed their young. It was different years ago, when nearly
every family could claim a vegetarian. But now, with the native
diet craze and so
many people scavenging roadkill, the Stogie Sucker has been
pushed to the brink of extinction."
We here at the School have been
touched by the plight of the Stogie Sucker and
have taken on her cause. Save your soy burger scraps for our bird feeder
and bring them with
you the next time you come up to visit us. (Hint the Stogie
Sucker prefers her burgers lightly fried in organic avocado oil, with
a garnish of Italian
parsley.) |
